thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
