and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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