my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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