i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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