out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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