My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
