this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
