So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
