if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Watching her eat just hurts me
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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