I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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