arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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