no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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