She went from zero to smokin in five shots
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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