I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
