I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
