based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
