he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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