o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I stole a fireplace last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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