What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
