I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
