her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
