If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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