nutella sex= disaster
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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