420 ftw
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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