I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
