I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
is it fun? or sober?
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