ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
