so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
