Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
