The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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