On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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