You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Still dying that you shit outside
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
