You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
