He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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