I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
