I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
ok first of all what the fuck
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
