So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
