we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
