I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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