I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your cock deserves a montage
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
