He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
