nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
