I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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