Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
