PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
