She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Even my vagina gasped.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
