Me. At least after what I've been through.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
