Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
