last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
