How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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