oh god the rape fog is back!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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