Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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