Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
